Sleepless

Sleep evades me yet again. To toss and turn, or to simply while away the night in quiet remembrance. A memory of sweet sleep, blissful rest from even mine own thoughts. Burning pain spreads from temple to eyes, a reminder of rest not fulfilled. Must obey the moonlight! It beckons me to the land of dreams, where my heavy head will be lifted high, soaring through the sky in mindless freedom. But nay, bloodshot eyes refuse to shut. Consciousness reigns tonight!

In a confused mumble I say, is it time yet, Jesus? Come, Lord, come. Today, tomorrow, in a millennia. Come! As long as I live, that will be the day my eyes rest on, a thousand lived as one. Unswerving heart, devoted life. Oh, but the weariness dawns. One feels like a thousand. Tired and drained I come tonight.

I say, what is trust? When you say you trust someone, what does it mean? Does it mean you'll tell them all your secrets? Does it mean confidence, depending on that person's integrity and faithfulness? Does it mean giving them yourself, placing your being into their hands? All are same, all are different. A common word, used often, yet its meaning weighs like the Earth, for it involves My world. Am I trusting God right now? Or am I trying to take control, doubtful of his faithfulness?

Life is a journey, isn't it? Full of surprises, too. Ah, surprises. Do you know why I don't like surprises? Because I have no trust. I trust few, whose surprises I do like, because well, I trust them. I need to ask, is it wrong to trust selectively? Is it wrong to doubt those I do not trust? Sounds like a cyclic logic to me!

Sleep. Now I think, must surely be a Divine blessing. Hmm. Thank you for your Goodness, God.